Job Search and Emotions
Dreaming Big and Setting Goals
Your dreams create positive images of the future and inspiring goals. Goals, in turn, help you focus your actions and energy in the direction you want to go. Career dreams often include the hope of doing work where you can use your skills, interests, and strengths. For many, it is also important that work supports their own values and feels meaningful.
Dreaming helps you see the direction you want your career to take. When you know what you are aiming for, you can make choices that move you towards it. At the same time, your motivation to keep going strengthens – even when you face challenges.
Dreaming is not just wishful thinking, but also a tool for career planning:
- it helps you direct your energy and choices
- it increases motivation and perseverance
- it opens up new ideas and career options
“Dreams show us a world of possibilities that can become reality—if we first imagine it. The aim of dreaming is to find a place where our unique qualities, interests, ways of being, abilities, and attitudes meet something not yet in existence, but worth pursuing.” (Professor Arto O. Salonen, Mieliteko podcast)
Every new idea and achievement has once started as a thought or a dream. Yet dreaming is not always easy. A constant flow of negative news and uncertainty can make it difficult to imagine the future. Sometimes difficulties in dreaming can also be related to exhaustion or depression.
Dreams often bring up fears, too. You might wonder: What if I fail? What if I make the wrong choice? What if life changes in unexpected ways? Fear is a natural part of change. Everyone who has pursued their dreams has faced uncertainty. The difference lies in whether you dare to take the first step despite your fears.
Daydreaming as a Skill – Turning Dreams into Reality
For a dream to come true, you first need to dare to say it out loud. Many people keep their dreams quietly in mind for years; some never talk about them at all.
Dreaming is a skill – the ability to reflect on your wishes, values and interests, and to give yourself permission to dream without excessive limitations or pressure from others’ expectations.
Recognising your strengths is important, but it is not enough on its own. It is also worth asking what kind of work truly excites you. Being good at something does not always mean you want to do it for a living. Sometimes we pursue things that others consider valuable, even if they do not feel like our own.
Read more about this topic under “Ikigai as a tool for career planning” on the Setting Career Goals- page.
Dreaming encourages creative and innovative thinking. When you allow yourself to freely explore the kind of future you want, you may find new, previously unknown solutions and ideas in your work. When you dare to imagine different career paths, it becomes easier to recognise the kinds of tasks and work environments that bring you joy, meaning and motivation.
Being enthusiastic and a dreamer does not exclude realism. On the contrary, it helps you steer your job search towards options that support both your professional growth and your wellbeing.
Dreaming is a skill you can practise. Positive imagery and visualisation help clarify your goals and strengthen your connection to your values. With the exercises below, you can reflect on your own dreaming skills and start planning your dream job.
- Is it easy or difficult for you to dream about the future?
- What dreams have you had?
- Have you ever made some of your dreams come true?
- What do you most enjoy doing?
- When do you experience a state of flow?
- What things are important to you?
- What would you like to learn more about?
- What challenges do you think people have faced on their journey toward their dreams?
What fears and beliefs stand in the way of your own dreams? - What would you do if you could not fail?
- What would you do if anything was possible?
Think about and write down what your dream job would look like – what you would do, with whom, in what kind of environment, and what kind of life it would support outside of work.
Resilience and Coping with Disappointment in Job Searching
Job searching is often a long process that requires both time and energy. Along the way, you may encounter surprises, disappointments and setbacks. Uncertainty about your employment, future and financial situation can feel frustrating and drain your resources.
That is why resilience is an important skill. Resilience means the ability to cope with setbacks, recover from them, and keep moving forward. It helps you respond constructively to rejection messages or silence from employers, while maintaining your belief in your ability to learn, develop and find a suitable job.
After a disappointment, it is worth pausing for a moment to consider what you can learn from the situation. Could you do something differently next time? Your resilience also grows when you remember your strengths and past successes, and view mistakes as opportunities to learn.
Many people experience anxiety, frustration, or a loss of motivation during their job search. Difficult emotions are common, especially when you receive a lot of negative responses or when uncertainty continues for a long time. You do not need to suppress these emotions. It is good to give yourself permission to feel, for example, disappointment, sadness or anger.
Things that can help include:
- reflecting on your own thoughts and feelings
- breathing and relaxation exercises
- breaking the job search into small, manageable tasks
- rewarding yourself for even small steps forward
- peer support and talking with people close to you
If your anxiety continues for a long time or becomes more severe, seek help from healthcare services or talk to a professional.
How to Deal with Disappointment During Your Job Search
When you face disappointment in your job search, it is completely natural to feel upset, sad or frustrated. Give yourself permission to experience these emotions, instead of ignoring or hiding them. When you name and accept your feelings, it becomes easier to process them in a healthy way and move forward.
Although being rejected may make you feel down for a while, do not let one setback define your future. Remember that job searching has its ups and downs, and every attempt brings you closer to your goals. New opportunities often appear when you least expect them.
Job searching can sometimes feel lonely, but remember that your close ones can support you. Talk about your feelings and experiences with friends or family. Hearing another person’s perspective may help you relate to the situation in a more constructive way, and simply sharing how you feel can make you feel lighter.
Disappointments can weaken your self-confidence, but it is important to pause and think about your skills and successes. Write down your achievements and strengths that can support you in your future job search. One setback does not define your value; you are doing your best and learning something new at every step.
Give yourself time to recover and relax when job searching feels stressful. It is important to take care of your mind and body – for example by exercising, enjoying hobbies, resting, or spending time with friends. Good self-care supports your ability to cope in the long term.
See disappointment as part of a growth process. Think about what you can learn from the situation – could you develop a particular skill, adjust your application, or look for new routes in your job search? Every experience can open new doors and lead you towards better opportunities, even if the direction changes along the way.
Common Pitfalls in Job Searching
One common mistake in job searching is to concentrate too much on just one interesting position. If you place all your expectations and hopes on a single application, you can easily feel very disappointed if you are not selected. That is why it is wise to keep several options open and apply to multiple positions.
Goals are important, but it is also worth assessing yourself realistically. If you apply for jobs that require more experience or education than you currently have, you may end up disappointed. Focus on roles where your skills are a good match.
Negative feelings are completely natural, especially after disappointments in job searching, and it is common for your own perspective to turn darker at those times. This can, without you noticing, be reflected to employers in applications, interviews and other communication. Try to maintain courage and highlight the areas where you are strong. A positive and open attitude helps you cope and makes you a more attractive candidate in the eyes of employers.
Resources During Job Hunting
Job searching can be a long process that requires perseverance. That is why it is important to look after your wellbeing and mental health and to lean on your existing resources throughout the job search.
Resources are things that help you cope and move towards your goals.
Resources can include, for example:
- adequate sleep, exercise and a healthy diet
- a positive mindset, perseverance and self-confidence
- a clear daily rhythm and planning
- hobbies and recovery
- support from people close to you
Not everything that affects employment is in your own hands. That is why it is important to treat yourself kindly and accept that you are a work in progress.
Below are factors that help you maintain motivation and stamina during your job search.
Inner resources are different for everyone. They are things that give you energy and support your wellbeing.
You can identify your own resources by asking yourself, for example:
- What things bring me joy?
- How do I relax?
- What activities do I enjoy?
- What things are important to me?
- What helps me cope in difficult moments?
- What supports me in reaching my goals?
Make sure there is room in your life for these things. In the midst of setbacks, take time to do something you enjoy and feel good at.
Resources are forms of capital that help you reach your goals. They can include, for example:
- financial situation
- skills and education
- social relationships
- good health and physical fitness
- support from loved ones
- personal traits such as perseverance, accuracy or determination
It is worth being aware of your own resources and strengths and drawing on them in the middle of challenges. You can also strengthen your resources by, for example, taking care of your health and maintaining your relationships.
The importance of self-compassion – that is, treating yourself with kindness and understanding – becomes especially clear in difficult moments.
Instead of criticising yourself when things go wrong, you can respond to yourself with understanding and encouragement – just as you would react to a friend in the same situation. Research shows that self-compassion increases wellbeing and strengthens resilience, the ability to face and deal with difficulties (Neff, 2003).
In job searching, self-compassion helps you recover from setbacks, maintain your motivation and keep moving forward. When you remember to be gentle with yourself and allow moments of weakness, you give yourself a better chance to cope with the challenges of job searching and to continue in a sustainable way that supports your wellbeing.
Hopefulness means believing that you can move towards your goals, even when there are obstacles along the way. Hope is an important resource that helps you maintain your mental energy and keep your eyes on the future, even in uncertain times. It also helps you stay focused on what lies ahead and commit to long-term job searching.
Hopefulness is not just blind optimism. It means setting realistic goals, looking for alternative solutions, and staying motivated even when times are hard. Research indicates that higher levels of hope are linked with better wellbeing and goal attainment in the face of challenges (Snyder, 2002, American Psychologist).
It is important to remind yourself that every rejection ultimately takes you one step closer to success – new opportunities can open up from unexpected directions when you maintain hope and keep moving forward persistently.
A growth mindset means believing that you can develop your skills and abilities through practice and learning.
A job seeker with a growth mindset sees failures as opportunities to learn something new: they approach new challenges with an open mind and dare to try different approaches.
A growth mindset increases your courage to experiment with new ways of acting and makes it easier to tolerate the uncertainty that is part of job searching. At the same time, your perseverance and belief in your own abilities become stronger.
If job searching only feels like hard work, pause for a moment to re-evaluate your goal. Ask yourself, for example:
- Is this goal still important to me?
- Is the goal genuinely my own?
- Does it support my values?
Sometimes we change or our circumstances change so that the goal no longer feels right. This is not a failure, but a sign that you have learned more about yourself. In that case, it is wise to take a time-out and form a new goal.
Big goals are good to break down into small sub-goals that you can move towards in small steps. Goals that are the right size for you make it possible to experience success. Even small successes increase motivation and help you move forward.
If progress feels difficult, break the task down into even smaller parts. Also remember to pause and notice your own progress.
Support from other people is a very effective way to keep going. You can get support from loved ones, friends, fellow students or professionals such as a career counsellor or coach.
Peer support is also important. It means mutual support between people in similar situations. You can find peer support, for example, in job search groups, networking events or online communities.
Sharing experiences helps you realise that you are not alone. At the same time, you can gain new perspectives, practical tips and more confidence in your own chances. Research shows that peer support reduces feelings of loneliness and strengthens wellbeing. It also helps you deal with the disappointments and frustrations that can arise during job searching.
Imposter Syndrome in Job Search
Imposter syndrome refers to a feeling where even qualified people doubt their abilities, attribute their success to luck, and fear being “exposed.” This phenomenon is common, especially in the early stages of a career, and it easily arises in evaluation situations and when a lot is expected of you.
In new environments and tasks, your own history of success and feedback is still limited. The pursuit of perfection, familiar from student life, may also carry over unnoticed into job searching. Job search processes – tests, interviews and comparisons – emphasise performance and can reinforce insecurity. Social comparison adds to the pressure: we see the “best bits” of others, but not their insecurities, drafts or failures. Environmental factors also matter: for example, in underrepresented groups or among the first in their families to apply to higher education, feelings of not belonging and the pressure of stereotypes can reinforce imposter feelings.
It is important to recognise this phenomenon, as emotions affect behaviour: they can lead to avoidance (“I won’t apply until I’m perfect”), impair interview performance, or lead to underpricing your skills in salary negotiations.
Tips for managing imposter syndrome:
- Name the phenomenon. “This is the voice of imposter syndrome, not fact.” Creating distance reduces its impact.
- Avoid comparing yourself to more experienced professionals. Visibility bias distorts reality. Compare yourself to your earlier self and focus on progress, not perfection.
- Build a “proof bank.” Collect coursework, project work, analyses, code and feedback you have received. Review these before applications and interviews.
- Practise impact stories. Describe your skills in four steps – situation, task, action, result. As you practise telling these stories, your sense of competence grows.
- Shift towards learning goals. Instead of performance goals, set learning goals. “I will learn to present my project clearly” is more constructive than “I will succeed perfectly.”
- Ask for feedback. Concrete feedback from teachers, supervisors or mentors helps calibrate your view of your own skills.
- Apply bravely. Apply for roles where you meet most of the criteria, even if you do not yet tick every box. Skill gaps are learning plans, not automatic reasons for rejection.
Exercises Related to Emotions in Job Search
1: Think about one moment at work where you couldn’t control your negative reactions towards your team/colleagues or supervisors due to stress or workload pressure. Please write down:
- What were your emotions?
- How did these emotions make you react and interact with others?
- What did you think at that moment and afterwards?
- Which response did you get from the others after your reaction?
2: Do the same exercise by thinking about one moment where your colleague or supervisor reacted negatively towards you.
- What were your emotions?
- How did these emotions make you react and interact with this person?
- What did you think at that moment and afterwards?
- Which response did this person get from you after his/her reaction?
3: Now, looking at these moments where you have experienced negative reactions at work, reflect and answer the following questions:
- Were you proud of your reaction or did you regret it? Why?
- What would you like to change in your reaction, or what would be a better reaction in those situations?
- Which reactions could you get from others after these changes?
Please note the changes and reactions that you think would lead to a more positive outcome in the interaction with others as well as to control your own emotions.
The purpose of the following exercise is to learn to recognize your own strengths and resources. You will realize that you have many valuable things in your life that you can draw strength from when needed. You will understand what things bring you energy and joy, and you can add more of them to your life.
Answer the following questions and write down your answers.
Inner Resources
- What kinds of things make you feel good?
- How do you relax and recharge your batteries?
- How do you take care of yourself?
- What kinds of things do you enjoy doing?
- What inspires you?
- Who gives you support and appreciation?
Other Resources
- What are your strengths?
- What things do you value in your life?
- What is your financial situation like, and how can you improve it?
- Who can you turn to for help if you need it?
Sources and Further Reading
- Mielenterveys työpaikalla | Mieli ry
- Cimson Koulutus: Mikä työnhaussa koettelee jaksamista?
- Kollega.fi: Vertaistuella lisää hyvinvointia työelämään.
- Työhyvinvointi ja työkyky | Työterveyslaitos
- Vaskiri: Kuinka käsitellä työnhaun aikana syntyviä pettymyksiä.
- Kuinka ylläpitää motivaatio työnhaussa | Kuntarekry
- Työnhakuhyvinvointia vertaistuesta | Piilo-osaajat
- Resilienssi työssä ja arjessa | Työturvallisuuskeskus
- Tunteet ja tunnetaidot | Mieli ry
- Mieliteko-podcast, jakso 1 | Arto O. Salonen (vieraana)
- Sanya Roman, Duane Packer (2007): Raha ja elämäntehtävä - runsauden avaimet.
- Snyder, C.R. (2002): Hope Theory: Rainbows in the Mind. American Psychologist, 57(2), 122-126.